Parks and Recreation alum Ben Schwartz and TV writer Laura Moses have written a cheeky dating guide called Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You F—ing Idiot — and they’ve pulled some strings to get their famous friends to help out with the publicity. Warning: The video above contains some harsh language.
Lin-Manuel Miranda, J.J. Abrams, Natalie Portman, Don Cheadle, Sarah Sarah Silverman, and Kristen Bell all shill for the funny, illustrated book in the trailer above, which EW can reveal exclusively. But there’s a little problem: None of them have actually gotten to read it, and they may or may not have been duped into promoting it…
Fortunately, EW can also share an exclusive first look at the book’s introduction, so at least you will be prepared when Schwartz and Moses inevitably ask you for a favor, too.
Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You F—ing Idiot hits shelves Oct. 17.
Chances are you’ve been in this situation before: You’re on a date. It’s going well! Then suddenly, your date looks at you like you’re a f—ing idiot and somehow you’ve blown it. Guess you’re going to die alone, right?
NOT IF YOU READ THIS BOOK!
The thing is, you’re probably not even sure what went wrong on that date. Was it your clothes? Your jokes? Your palpable loneliness? Who knows — today’s dating scene is a mess. We live in a world where it’s become easier to have a relationship over the phone than in person. Common courtesies have been replaced by emojis, and feelings are now expressed through GIFs and memes. So, it’s not a shock you didn’t know that you’re supposed to WALK YOUR DATE TO THEIR CAR, YOU F—ING IDIOT! Sure, you’re doing great electronically—your text game is on point and your Twitter feed is fire, but we will teach you how to be a considerate human being on a date in REAL LIFE.
This book contains one hundred simple tips to guide you through hypothetical dating scenarios. Each tip is paired with a discussion between two people to show you how awesome it is when you take our advice—and how shitty it is when you don’t. In case words aren’t your thing, you’ll also find an adorable illustration next to each tip to make the yucky process of fixing your romantic life a little more whimsical!
So, do yourself a favor and read this book immediately, and maybe the next time you show up to a date you’ll have a fighting chance at not dying alone.