Real talk: Taylor Swift was a boss in court today

 

 

We get it – not everyone loves Taylor Swift. Maybe you’re a ride-or-die Katy Perry fan. Maybe you simply don’t like her music, or her PR tactics. You might have, say, rejoiced the day Kim K. brought forth the receipts.

But what you should know is that no matter where you stand on T-Swift, she showed up like a boss in court today in Denver during a trial deciding whether or not she was groped by former DJ David Mueller during a meet-and-greet four years ago.

Her killer turn on the stand comes after an extended, self-imposed hiatus from public life. With mom Andrea Swift out of court for the day (excused by the judge for not feeling well), Taylor did not couch her responses, answer demurely or censor herself.

Instead, for over an hour on the stand, the pop star vacillated between being cordial, direct and occasionally testy, not giving AF about the optics of it all. In that spirit, we’re printing highlights from her testimony verbatim.

The incident in question

Questioned repeatedly by Mueller’s lawyer about what happened four years ago, Swift testified that “it was a definite grab. A very long grab.” 

Not of her butt, her backside or her rear. “He stayed attached to my bare ass-cheek as I lurched away from him,” she said, detailing the encounter vividly. 

So let there be no confusion, she intimated: “I have experienced every degree of awkward first encounters. This was not jostling. He grabbed my bare ass.” 

About that photo

In court, Mueller’s lawyer referred the pop star to a photo taken at the time of the alleged incident. “He was in the process of grabbing my ass, yes,” Swift confirmed.

Swift said her bodyguard saw the DJ “lift my skirt,” but that someone would have had to been underneath her to see the actual groping during the photo shoot. “And we didn’t have anyone positioned there,” she deadpanned, to court laughter.

When asked if she could see the incident directly Swift said she couldn’t see exactly because her “ass is in the back of her body.”

Buzzfeed noted Swift said she is not critical of her bodyguard for not stopping it – “I’m critical of your client sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my ass.”

(That’s five defiant uses of ‘ass’ in court so far, if you’re counting.)

The firing

When questioned about her reaction to learning that the DJ had been fired over the allegations, Swift made like a modern feminist. “I am not going to allow your my client to make me feel like it is anyway my fault because it isn’t,” she said.

Was she sure it was Mueller? “He had a handful of my ass,” replied Swift. “I know it was him.”

But did she think Mueller got what he deserved by his firing? It was then Swift threw down her Mariah Carey-approved ace card of shade.

“I don’t feel anything about Mr. Mueller,” she said. “I don’t know him.”

Stand tall, Miz Swift.

 

Contributing: The Associated Press, Bobbi Sheldon, KUSA, Buzzfeed

 

 

 

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