In a clip from ensemble comedy ‘Girls Trip,’ Lisa (Jada Pinkett Smith) gifts her girlfriends homemade vests for their New Orleans getaway. Do the girls like it? “Looks like a BeDazzler threw up on that thing,” Dina (Tiffany Haddish) jokes. USA TODAY
Jeff Kinney learned a valuable lesson while researching an upcoming Diary of A Wimpy Kid book that takes place during an exotic Mexican resort vacation.
The author grasped that people toiling in office cubicles really don’t want to see boasting vacation posts on Facebook.
“I’ve learned that everybody loves to hear about someone’s bad vacation, how they put all this money down and had a rotten time,” he says. “It makes you feel better about your own miserable life.”
Hollywood is here to help with a summer that’s been filled with disastrous expeditions, including Kinney’s American road-trip saga Diary of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul.
Here are five of the worst recent onscreen vacations:
‘SNATCHED’: Ecuador abduction
What they probably wrote on Facebook: Loving this mother-daughter time in beautiful Ecuador!
What really went down: Emily (Amy Schumer) and her mother Linda (Goldie Hawn) are kidnapped for ransom on their Ecuador vacation, escaping through the jungle. Emily suffers a tapeworm infestation and bludgeons a man to death with a shovel.
‘THE LONG HAUL’: Roadtrip mayhem
What they probably wrote on Facebook:The Heffleys are hitting the road! Family trip to Indianapolis for Meemaw’s 90th!
What really went down: Mom (Alicia Silverstone) forbids Greg (Jason Drucker) and Rodrick (Charlie Wright) to use cellphones in the car and makes them listen to “How to speak Spanish” audio lessons. A can of cinnamon rolls explodes in the hot minivan, covering everyone in goop. The roof luggage falls on the highway and Dad (Tom Everett Scott) takes an off-road shortcut that leaves the family caked in mud.
’47 METERS DOWN’: Swimming with sharks
What they probably wrote on Facebook: This Mexican resort has everything two thrill-seeking sisters could want! #Bonding!
What really went down: After a night of drinking, Lisa (Mandy Moore) and Kate (Claire Holt) try cage diving in shark-infested waters, an excursion that goes very wrong when they drop to the ocean floor with only a half-hour of oxygen.
‘GIRLS TRIP’: Insanity in the Big Easy
What they probably wrote on Facebook: Wild New Orleans weekend with my college crew! #FlossyPosse reunites.
What really went down: Friends Ryan (Regina Hall), Sasha (Queen Latifah), Lisa (Jada Pinkett Smith) and Dina (Tiffany Haddish) are booted from their hotel room, forced to take shelter in the only dive hotel available — complete with a window flasher. Lisa relieves her full bladder midair on a bar-to-bar zip line over Bourbon Street.
‘ROUGH NIGHT’: Bachelorette party from hell
What they probably wrote on Facebook: Miami weekend with my best college friends. #BFF10Years
What really went down: Jess (Scarlett Johansson), Blair (Zoë Kravitz), Pippa (Kate McKinnon), Alice (Jillian Bell) and Frankie (Ilana Glazer) accidentally kill a male stripper during a living-room lap dance gone awry and can’t dispose of the body.
Five best friends reunite 10 years after college for a wild bachelorette weekend in Miami. The weekend takes a dark turn when a male stripper is killed. USA TODAY